Trust sweet trust – it’s the only thing that’s there’s just too little of – you know how the song goes. Yes – I know the original says love. And that wouldn’t go amiss either. But since it’s Scorpio time I wanted to talk about one of the Arachnid’s themes.
Most people are wary of Scorpions – understandably. These hardy, adaptable creatures have been around for hundreds of millions of years, and they are nothing if not survivors. There are almost 2,000 species of Scorpions, but only 30 or 40 have strong enough poison to kill you. However, since most of us can’t tell one from the other, we tend not to trust any of them. Males that remain near females after mating are sometimes killed and eaten! Because they are dangerous, poisonous and mysterious, they have long evoked curiosity, fascination and fear.
A person with strong Scorpio energy has the same characteristics. They are survivors – strong and mysterious – but when threatened they can be deadly. Because of this, the archetype gets bad press. However, this is because it is the most loyal of the signs. Scorpios don’t do 50 shades of grey. They either do something or they don’t. They are passionate and trustworthy – until they discover a lie. When trust is broken it will hurt them deeply – more than any of the other signs. And so they sting.
David Dimbleby, the well-known BBC Question Time presenter, gets a Scorpio (his Sun sign) tattoo. When questioned as to why the Scorpion had only 6 legs, he said that he wasn’t David Attenborough!
Scorpio is a black and white sign whose energy is very active in the world today. It divides opinions. And it is hard to resist choosing a side, making it difficult to disassociate from the group’s actions. You are for the rebels in Syria or against them. You are for Obama or against him. You are either for gay marriage or against it. Many religious groups are afraid of gay marriage. The belief that only a man and a woman can be married is so fundamental to their teachings and so deeply held, that a believer might react like a frightened caged animal – lashing out to ensure survival. This is how it can feel.
Both sides in Syria are doing the same thing. Many have been deeply wounded both physically and emotionally, and terrible atrocities are being committed on both sides of the fence because to lose means to die – sometimes literally. They are fighting for the survival of a belief. The more they feel threatened, the more poison is deemed necessary.
The problem with all this is that betrayal is common in these struggles. And betrayal is the death knell where this energy is involved. As it is in any relationship where underhand, secret, dishonest behaviour is discovered, trust is gone. In couples counselling, this is often the biggest problem needing to be addressed. But how do you build trust again? Sometimes relationships are too broken to be fixed.
This is happening on a larger scale in the world. A case in point being Angela Merkel’s phone. This one example has highlighted the amount of sneaky, underhand surveillance and spying that is going on between nations. Edward Snowden has opened up a Scorpion’s nest. (Do Scorpions have nests?)
How on earth is anyone going to trust any group or individual again? The bankers, the NSA, politicians, governments, our bosses, our partners? I must admit, I don’t know what to believe about lots of things any more.
Scorpio is associated with the planet Pluto, so in my view we must look to him for a solution. Although I agree with Einstein, that we can’t solve a problem with the same level of consciousness with which it was created, I maintain that, astrologically speaking, the solution is always contained in the problem. Unfortunately, to solve the global problems we are dealing with today, the world’s solution is often to throw another planet at these issues. Mostly Saturn! This results in attempts to get agreements about nuclear and chemical weapons. There are missions to sign contracts about surveillance levels between countries. Lists of rules, heavier penalties for misdemeanours, and clamping down on sexual abuse. Don’t get me wrong, I think some of these things are admirable. But do we really believe they are going to work? Do we trust that Syria will destroy all its chemical weapons? Do we think stopping access to internet will solve paedophile problems? Has locking up criminals ever worked to reduce crime? Or has it just led to smarter crimes? Saturn works on blame and punishment. Accepting responsibility and atoning for our crimes.
Pluto could not care less about any of that!
No. What we need to solve a lot of the world’s current problems, is to build trust between groups again. But how can we hold such opposing views without tearing each other apart? All relationships need to address this at some point. The only way that seems to work, is to go deeply into the issue. To find out what the real fight is. To discover why each party feels so threatened. To understand the powerlessness that each side is experiencing. The solution lies in being able to create a safe enough space to be able to talk honestly about our vulnerabilities. This usually takes time. An animal that has been abused and thrown in a cage will need a lot of patience, care and attention before it stops biting and fighting and will trust a human again – if ever.
But I think we need to try to heal the pain. I am always amazed at what happens when people who have suffered terrible crimes, face their perpetrators. Restorative justice. Not only to the victims who are able to forgive and move on with their lives, but also to the perpetrators. Because they feel understood, they are able to feel and express true remorse. This is what we need to facilitate. I know there is a lot of hatred that is indoctrinated over generations. But getting opposing groups in the same safe space must be a way to start. The thing is – just as in couples counselling – to establish whether both parties are going for the same goal. Do both parties really want to work together? If not, the best way is to find the least painful way to break up. There are no half measures here – we can fight for years or we can make clean breaks and divide the spoils. Are you leaders listening?
Interesting Website of the Month
This article featured in the Washington Post is by Stephen M. R. Covey. It is a guide for building trust in business and it also covers points for federal leadership. However the concepts apply to any relationship.
This Month’s Quote
“Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.”
Stephen R. Covey